And Again, She Lives
by Stratusfied247
Summary: After witnessing the murder of two of her best friends, Maxie finds her life in danger. Warnings for character death and angst.
1. Chapter 1

"I remember the bang."

She looked down at her hands. They were shaking. Her purple glitter nail polish was chipped on most of her nails and it was more than half gone on three of her fingers. The polish had been bright and fresh that morning. She remembered being proud of herself for getting them so perfect and having so little end up on her skin. Now, her nails looked like she had done nothing to them at all.

"Maxie?"

She jumped. She squeaked, then put her hands over her mouth. When her hands flew up, she got another glimpse at her nails. It had been Lulu's idea. Maxie didn't do purple nail polish. It was so gauche, so rebellious teen or something. Maxie preferred French manicures. The most color she wanted in her manicure was a pink base instead of clear. Sometimes she would opt for something other than white on her tips, but all purple? No, that wasn't her style, at all.

But, Lulu told her that it would look good. She told her that she needed to do something different, to stop being such a fashionista and try just being average. Maxie had balked at that. Average was so, well, average, and Maxie Jones had had a lifetime of being average. She wasn't fifteen anymore. She wasn't average Maxie Jones anymore. She was Maximista.

No, she wasn't Maximista anymore, because there was no one to call her that. Spinelli…

"Maxie, I know this is hard, but I need you to tell me what you saw, what you heard."

"The bang," Maxie said as her hands dropped into her lap. She focused on her fingernails again, on the broken nail polish. Searching through the rubble had taken away the polish. If they were her real nails, they would have been broken, but that girl at the shop was good, and Maxie's acrylic tips were still holding on. Of course, holding on like that made it really painful when she snapped them against boards, but they were still on nice and tight.

She had to focus on her nails, because if she didn't, she would hear more than the bang. She would hear Spinelli's scream as the bullet hit him. She would feel him crashing against her and she would see the stupid love in his eyes as they both went down to the floor, Maxie holding on to Spinelli all the way down. If she let herself listen to Mac instead of tsk'ing over her destroyed manicure, she would hear the next sound, after the bang. She would hear the boom, and then she would see it all coming down on top of them, and Spinelli trying to cover her even though he was hurting and…

"Maxie," Mac said, "I really need you to talk to me."

"And I need you not to talk to me, okay?" Maxie threw her hands down to her sides and looked up at Mac. She had to look horrendous. She had been crying, and that always made her eyes puffy, and even worse, it made her cheeks puffy. Over the years, Maxie had learned to expertly apply make up in a way that didn't accentuate what could only be called her 'cute' qualities. She had learned sophisticated and couture. Now, she was crying and sophistication was out the window. She looked cute and adorable and freaking pathetic again, and she just wanted to go home.

Mac knelt down in front of her and took hold of both of her hands. "I know this is hard, Maxie, but I need to know what you saw, what you heard. I need to know what happened."

"Spinelli and Lulu died, that's what happened!" Maxie snatched her hands away from Mac. She pushed him so hard that he fell back onto the floor. Maxie stood up and looked down at him. "They died, and I got out with barely even a scratch, that's what happened. And you know what? I'm thinking that I need to have my nails done again and I need to shower because Spinelli's blood is all over me and I need some fresh clothes."

Mac stood up and put his hands on her upper arms. Maxie knew that he was trying to help, trying to be calm and fatherly with her, but it just made her mad. He wasn't her dad, and he wasn't really talking to her like a dad, was he? He was the police commissioner, and he wanted to know what happened. He tried to make it seem like something else, but sitting at the police station, surrounded by hideously drab gray walls, he was the commissioner and she was the witness. She was also a victim, sure, but as she was the only victim left alive, she was more importantly the witness.

Maxie jerked loose of him and turned away. She walked all the way to the back wall of the interrogation room then turned back around. Maxie leaned back and folded her arms over her stomach. "It doesn't matter what I saw," Maxie said. "You won't be able to do anything about it, anyway."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that none of you can ever do anything about it. It means that people keep getting killed in this town, and whether it's because of Helena Cassadine or Sonny Corinthos or any of the Zaccharas, nobody ever gets in trouble for it, so what's the point? No one's going to go to jail, so I might as well just tell Jason, because at least I know he'll do something about it."

"That's not fair, Maxie," Mac told her. "You know that I've done my best, we've all done our best."

"Well, your best isn't good enough, is it? Spinelli and Lulu are dead, and Luke isn't even around for me to tell him that his daughter's dead. And Spinelli has no family to tell that he's dead. All he had was me, Sam, and Jason and well, we see where that got him."

"I know you're hurting, Maxie, I do. You cared about Spinelli."

"Yeah, and you hated him, so you don't even care that he's dead."

"I didn't hate him."

"You didn't like him."

Mac sighed. "He was hard to like," he said. "He annoyed me, but that doesn't mean that I don't care that he's dead. Why do you think I keep trying to get you to talk to me? If you tell me what you saw, what you heard, then I can find out who did this and I can bring them to justice."

"You won't bring anyone to justice," Maxie said with a sigh. She looked down at her shoes. They were all scuffed up and there was blood on them. There was blood everywhere. "You never do."

"Maxie…"

She looked up, but not at Mac. She looked past him, to the door, and out the glass portal in the door. Sam was in the station room, looking toward the glass. Jason was there, too, talking to Lucky, but Sam was the one looking at Maxie, actually thinking about Maxie. Jason didn't like her that much, so he was probably asking about Spinelli, and last time she saw Dante, he was holding Lulu's dead hand, stopping the coroner from taking her away. No one was really thinking about Maxie. Why should they? She was alive, and deep thoughts and feelings were reserved for the dead.

Maxie focused on Mac and said, "If Spinelli hadn't taken that bullet for me, I'd be with Georgie, right now. I'd probably be happy."

Maxie walked forward. Mac reached out as she drew near him and grabbed her arm. "Maxie, please."

"I have to go home, Mac," she said. Maxie pulled away from him and was glad that he didn't try to stop her. It was the Georgie comment. It was a low blow, sure, but it got Mac off his game and left Maxie with a way out.

Maxie opened the door and when she stepped out, Sam was still the only one looking at her. Maxie pouted and she knew it only made her look even more childlike with her puffy cheeks and all the freaking cuteness, but she couldn't help it. Sam looked directly at her and then she had to go and put her arms out, like she was her mom or something. Well, yeah, that was going to do it.

Maxie fell into Sam's arms and cried. "Why do I always end up alive?" Maxie asked between sobs. "Why does everyone die and I end up alive?"

"I don't know," Sam said. Her hands moved up and down Maxie's back, and maybe it was because she wished her mom was there to comfort her, but for whatever reason, Maxie felt better. She felt soothed.

"It's not fair, Sam."

"I know it's not fair," Sam told her, "but I promise you, we'll find out who did this and we'll make them pay."

"No, you won't," Maxie said. She sighed as she pulled away from Sam. Sure, if it had been anyone else, Maxie was sure that Jason would take care of it. But, considering the bad guy, well, Maxie didn't have too much faith that she'd get justice. Maybe she should have just told Mac, and maybe tomorrow, she still would. She was just so tired and frustrated and the last thing she wanted to do was give an official police statement.

Sam looked up at her with her head cocked to the side. "What do you mean?"

Maxie looked behind her. Mac was still in the interrogation room, sitting on the edge of the table. She looked across the room. Lucky and Jason were talking and there was a lot of animation. Poor Lucky. His sister was gone, and she had yelled at him about Spinelli. Way to be selfish, Maxie. Maxie remembered more people being there when she first showed up at the station, but now, they were all gone. All that was left were people who loved the dead.

Maxie leaned in to Sam and whispered in her ear, "Sonny shot Spinelli." She leaned back and watched the horror etch into Sam's face. Sam looked behind her to where Jason and Lucky still argued, then turned back to Maxie.

"See?" Maxie said. "Like I said, Jason isn't going to make anyone pay for Spinelli."


	2. Chapter 2

Sam told him that Maxie was coming back to the penthouse with them because she was worried that she would hurt herself, but Maxie knew that was only partially true. She didn't doubt that Sam was worried about Maxie's mental health, but after what she had revealed, she had to be worried about her physical well-being, too. Maxie was definitely scared, and had said as much. When Sonny left the warehouse, it was with a blazing building behind him. He had to know by now that Maxie had made it out alive. He had to know that she could finger him.

Was she giving Jason a chance? Was that why she hadn't said anything to Mac? It was a slam dunk case, for sure. Maxie didn't know why, exactly, Sonny had come after Spinelli, but that didn't really matter. She had been there. She had looked him in the eye and watched him pull the trigger. She had watched Spinelli go down. She had heard the shot and then the thud as Lulu went down. Lying on the ground, with Spinelli bleeding on top of her, she had heard the strike of the match and watched Sonny's expensive leather shoes as he tossed the match, then walked away from them. She was a witness, and if she testified, that was that.

But, Jason owed Spinelli. He had taken him in and vowed to watch out for him. How many times had Sonny threatened Spinelli and Jason didn't take it seriously? Maxie kept telling Spinelli that he needed to just stay away from Sonny, but he didn't listen. Spinelli thought that, eventually, everyone would like him. He was like a child that desperately wanted approval, but what he got instead was a bullet in the back and an end to his short and exasperating life.

So, maybe she was just giving Jason the chance to do right by Spinelli. If she told Mac what she knew, he'd pick him up in a second. If she kept quiet a little longer, though, Jason could prove that he really did care about Spinelli. And, he would, right? Because even if he didn't care that much about Spinelli, Sam had loved Spinelli and Jason loved Sam. He'd have to get revenge for her pain, if nothing else, right?

And, well, if Jason didn't do it, there was always Luke. Tracy was trying to get in touch with him, had sent Ethan out to find him, and he would want to know who had killed his daughter. He would never say that it was her own fault for getting involved in that nonsense, because it would be just like the kind of thing he'd have dragged her into himself. Lulu was a Spencer, and Spencers were adventure junkies. Okay, so Lucky not so much anymore, but even he still had it in him. They all had it, and more than that, they all had a healthy need for revenge. Maxie was sure that was why Tracy sent Ethan to get Luke, because if Ethan found out who killed Lulu, he'd get himself killed trying to avenge her death. Tracy was trying to keep as many Spencers alive as she could. That was better than Maxie. She had only managed to get a Spencer dead.

"Maxie? Are you okay?" She blinked and the world came into view. Lost in her thoughts, everything was black, but now, there was color again, or at least as much color as one could get in a cold, cement parking structure. And, really, what penthouse dweller really parked his own car? Hello, valet.

Sam was looking at her, waiting for her to respond, and as the seconds ticked away, Maxie started to forget what she was asked. "Maxie?"

She shook her head. "Yeah?" Sam looked at Jason, and watching them give each other pitying looks, Maxie remembered the question, if only because she really hated when that much pity was put in her direction. It jarred her memory. "I'm fine," she said. "Peachy keen, a-okay, and all that. I'm good."

Again, Jason and Sam looked at each other. Maxie sighed. "You know, you can talk to me instead of eye talking to each other, or whatever it is you're doing. I said I'm fine."

Sam looked to Jason and he sighed. "She says she's fine," he said, and while Maxie's instant reaction was to think, again, how much Jason didn't like her and was probably pissed that he was stuck with her, something inside told her that he was just trying to honor her wishes. Spinelli had spent so much time trying to explain Stone Cold to her, and she just kept telling him that there was a reason he was calling him Stone Cold and to just leave it alone. Maybe she should have paid a little more attention, taken Spinelli a little more seriously. She was stuck living with the guy for at least a little while, until Sam let her leave. She should have—

Maxie's thoughts stopped in an instant as she was struck with the reality of what was happening. Living with Sam and Jason, she would have to sleep in.. Oh, dear God, no. Maxie shook her head. "Nope." Her head shaking started out slowly, but grew faster and faster until Maxie could almost hear the wind rushing past her head.

"No," she said over and over again. "No, this is not going to happen. It's not happening."

"Maxie?" At each pass of her head, Maxie saw Sam, first turning around in the seat, then rising up until her head was over the seat. "Maxie, what's wrong?"

"I can't do it. Nope. Just take me home," she said. "Nope, I'll just ride it out, ya know? Take me to Mac's. He'll let me stay with him."

"Mac will make you try to talk."

"I don't care. I'm not doing it." Maxie stopped shaking her head. She leaned back against the seat and closed her eyes. "It's not going to happen."

Sam went quiet and Maxie waited for the sound of the car starting again. It didn't come. Instead, she heard the door opening and closing. Then, she heard the door open and felt a rush of air coming in. Sam's hand touched her thigh and Maxie shook her head. "Nope," she said. "Not gonna happen."

"What's not going to happen? You have to talk to me, Maxie. We both decided that this was the best idea."

"Yeah, that was until I realized what neither of us realized before."

"And what is that?"

Maxie sighed. She opened her eyes, and found herself looking at Jason. She had meant to turn her head, to look down at Sam as she knelt beside her, but she was captured by Jason's ice blue eyes as he looked at her from the front seat. Did he understand? Had he figured it out? No, he wasn't looking at her with understanding. He was just as confused as Sam. Besides, if he had it figured out, he'd have said something already.

Maxie tore her eyes from Jason and looked down at Sam. Her voice was barely audible as she said, "I would have to sleep there, Sam."

"What?"

Maxie's voice rose to its regular level as she said, "What are you, dense?" She sighed and said, "I can't sleep in the regrettably pink room."

Then it hit Sam. Her eyes grew wide and her lips parted. She turned to Jason and so did Maxie. It hit him, too. Neither of them had thought about where Maxie was going to sleep, either. It had been a good enough idea before, back when Maxie wasn't thinking and let Sam lead her out of the precinct, but now, she was thinking, and she knew she couldn't sleep in Spinelli's room.

"That's it, then," Maxie said. "Take me to Mac's. I'll be safe there."

"Maxie…" Sam looked to Jason, and Maxie wondered why she was looking at him. Sam hadn't had the time to tell him what she had said to her, so it wasn't like he knew what Maxie was really talking about. Besides, it wasn't like Jason really wanted to live with Maxie. He didn't know who wanted her dead, so he probably figured she was as safe with the police commissioner as anywhere else. Maxie wasn't one of the special. She wasn't one of the people he'd lay his life down for. Sure, she was Sam's friend, but it wasn't like she didn't have other people who could protect her.

Sam turned back to Maxie and said, "But, you didn't want to talk about it, and you know Mac will just try to make you talk."

Of course, Mac would try to make her talk. Oh, he'd want her safe and want to take care of her, but he also wanted to know who had tried to kill her. He was the cops, and it was his job. He'd keep her safe, though, and she had to admit that she was worried about her safety with Jason. Was Spinelli really enough to make him go against Sonny? What if he just turned her over to him?

"Yeah," Maxie said, "well, maybe I should talk." Maxie sighed and shook her head. "Take me to Johnny's. Somebody should tell him about Lulu, anyway, right?"

"And what makes you think Johnny wasn't behind what happened tonight?" Jason asked her.

Maxie looked at him like he was stupid, and made sure that he knew she thought he was stupid. She wanted to go on and on about how Lulu was there, and no matter what had happened between them, he'd never have anything to do with her getting hurt. She wanted to say that she was pretty sure that Johnny and Sonny weren't working together. Instead, she just said, "Trust me, I know Johnny didn't have anything to do with it."

Maxie sighed. "You can have Dante come and get me. We can mourn together."

"I don't think Dante's a good idea," Sam told her.

"You know what, Sam? Right now, I really don't care, because I know what you're trying to do. You're keeping me away from anybody who might hear what I have to say, if I decide to say it. Well, maybe I should say something to Uncle Mac or Dante, because at least I know for sure that…" Maxie paused. Yeah, Dante, not really. He hadn't said anything when Sonny shot him, why should he do anything about this? But, Mac…

"Mac will help me," Maxie said.

"And so will we," Sam told her. "You're safe here. In fact, this is the safest place that you can ever be."

"Why? Because he won't come here after me? He won't just drag me kicking and screaming out of here? How do you know Jason won't just hand me over to him, huh?"

"What?" Maxie turned to Jason at the sound of his voice. He looked to Sam. "What is she talking about?"

Sam sighed. "Could you give us a minute? Please?"

"What's going on, Sam?"

"I swear, I'll tell you everything, Jason, but right now, I need to talk to Maxie."

Jason looked at both of them, and Maxie waited for him to demand answers right then and there. He had learned from Sonny, right? Isn't that what Sonny would have done? But, Jason didn't demand answers. He trusted Sam. He nodded, then turned off the car and got out.

The door slammed shut and Maxie turned on Sam. "You're protecting him. I thought you were my friend, Sam. I thought you were Spinelli's friend."

"I am your friend. I was Spinelli's friend. I'm not…" She sighed. "I'm not protecting Sonny."

"Yes, you are! You're making sure I don't go to anyone that will actually do something about him. You know that with my testimony, he would be put away. Uncle Mac will pick him up and throw him in a cell and you're protecting him. He shot Spinelli in the back! He shot Lulu! He set that building on fire and you're protecting him!"

"I'm not protecting him. I'm protecting Jason!" Sam took in a deep breath and let it out with a heavy whoosh. She breathed in and out and Maxie just wanted to slap her. She thought Sam was her friend. She thought Sam actually cared about her, but apparently, she was wrong.

"Believe it or not," Sam said, "Jason really cared about Spinelli. He annoyed the hell out of him, but he was still a little brother to him. Right now, I have him kind of calm. He's not out chasing after whoever did this, and that's mostly because I told him to wait until you could tell him."

"You think I'm going to tell him?"

"Yeah," Sam said, "I do. You didn't tell Mac for a reason."

"I didn't tell Mac because I knew he wouldn't be able to do anything. Sonny never has to pay for anything he does, and this time won't be any different. He'd get arrested, and he'd be out on bail and then skip town or something. Or, he'll just have me killed before trial and not have to worry about it."

Sam was silent and Maxie said, "I don't see you trying to argue that with me."

"I guess I can't."

"Of course, you can't, because you've seen him do it before. He's probably had Jason do it, and will probably have him do it this time, too."

"Jason would not kill you."

"Yeah, right. That's what he does, Sam. He kills people."

"That's not all he does," Sam said. "And Jason…" She sighed. "I know that Jason has done things, but I also know that he's got this code he lives by. He rationalizes it to himself, and there's no way he would be able to rationalize this. Jason wouldn't hurt you, Maxie."

"But, Sonny would." Maxie looked out to where Jason stood, leaning against the wall in front of the car. "I can't sleep in that room, Sam," she said softly.

"I'll find somewhere for you to sleep."

"I'm not sleeping in your room, either, because just, ew. I know what you do in there and no way am I sleeping on those sheets. I'll sleep on the couch, first."

"I'm sorry I didn't think about the room before I brought you here," Sam said, "but I couldn't just leave you there. Spinelli would want me to take care of you."

"If Spinelli didn't insist on watching out for me, he'd still be alive." Maxie took her eyes off of Jason and looked at Sam. She felt the tears coming and didn't have it in her to be ashamed of them. Her voice shaking, Maxie said, "I can't sleep in his room, Sam. I can't sleep in the regrettably pink room without Spinelli."

"I know, sweetie," Sam said as she wrapped her arms around her. Maxie leaned on her shoulder and cried. "I know, and you won't have to. I promise. And I promise, we'll make this right."

"You can't bring him back. Making this right means bringing him back."

"I'm sorry, Maxie. We can't bring Spinelli back. But, we can keep you safe, and this is the safest place for you."

Maxie pushed off of Sam and wiped her palms over her cheeks. "Jason will just hand me over to him. If Sonny demands it, Jason will hand me over."

"No, he won't."

"He doesn't even like me."

"You get on his nerves, yeah, but in the end, Maxie, you're an innocent. Just like Spinelli and Lulu, you're an innocent, and if Jason does anything, he takes care of the innocent."

"Even if he hates them?"

"He doesn't hate you," Sam said with a sigh, "but yes, even if he hates them."

Maxie looked out to Jason again and she tried so hard to feel the same kind of trust that Sam felt, but she didn't know Jason like Sam did. All she knew was that when things went wrong for Sonny or if Sonny was in trouble, Jason was right there by his side. She had never actually seen him choose anyone else over Sonny and Maxie sure didn't think she was somebody that Jason would choose over anyone else, let alone his best friend.

"Do you promise?" Maxie asked, her voice soft and frail. She hated the frailty in her voice, the weakness, but she couldn't stop it. "Do you promise that he won't let Sonny kill me, too?"

"I promise."

Maxie sighed and looked at Sam with sad, grave eyes. The trust just wasn't there. She was trying, and needed it, especially since she was staying with them for as long as Sam could keep her there, but it didn't come nearly as easily as Sam wanted for her. But, still, Maxie let Sam take her hands and pull her from the car. But, she had one last thing to say before she let Sam take her up to the penthouse.

"You and Jason promised to keep Spinelli safe, too. I hope you're better at it with me than you were with him."


	3. Chapter 3

Well, this is uncomfortable, Maxie thought as she stared up at the ceiling. She had tried taking the pillows off, but the back of the sofa was hard when she rolled into it. The pillows on, however, meant that she had less room to sleep on and she hung off the end of the sofa. Maybe she should have given the regrettably pink room a chance.

Except, it would have Spinelli all over it. There was that stupid cologne that he wore, sometimes, when he thought that being sophisticated would make Maxie think better of him. There would probably be bags of potato chips and orange soda bottles everywhere, too. And, of course, there was his computer. Maxie had convinced him to leave it behind when he dragged her out to that warehouse, so the computer was still upstairs. Was there evidence on it? Did Sonny notice that Spinelli hadn't had his computer with him when he shot him? Dear God, was Sonny going to show up in the middle of the night and try to get the computer? If he showed up, he'd see Maxie, and then…

She pushed herself up and stared straight ahead, straight at the door. She counted the seconds off silently, her lips mouthing the words but the sound only in her head. _One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi. Four Mississippi. Five Mississippi. Six Mississippi. Seven Mississippi._

The count went on until twenty-three. That was as long as Maxie could hold her breath. Maxie bent forward gasping, then sucked in a huge breath of air. A voice in her head yelled, _Watch the door!_ Maxie jerked her head up and stared at the door. She started counting again, but this time, she remembered to breathe.

Spinelli…

He hadn't really wanted much from her, had he? Well, yeah, he wanted everything, and that was quite a bit, especially from someone like Maxie. She was a selfish girl, and she would readily admit that she was selfish. As far as Maxie saw it, nobody else was going to look out for her, nobody else was going to make sure she had what she wanted and what she needed, so Maxie had to look out for numero uno. She had to make sure that her needs were met, and worrying about Spinelli's needs was just so hard.

Except… wasn't that really just Maxie making excuses? Most of what Spinelli wanted was to make sure that Maxie had what she needed and wanted. He wanted to make her happy. So, selfishly, being with Spinelli should have been perfect for her. Maybe, then, it was the expectation. Spinelli set Maxie up as this perfection, and she knew that some of it was transfer. Georgie _**was**_ perfection, and Maxie was her sister, so yeah, he just put that on her. Not that she thought Spinelli was interested in her just because of Georgie, because she didn't, not anymore. He had a ton of reasons for understanding the awesomeness which was Maxie Jones. Still, there was something to be said about emotional transference. Spinelli wanted this combination Georgie-Maxie, and he just wasn't going to get that. And, since he wasn't going to get it, it was best to just let him go, right? Let him go and find someone who could be all the things he wanted. Obviously, he didn't want anything like that stupid Winifred, but there was something out there other than Maxie that he wanted, and she thought she was just trying to set him free so he could have it.

Spinelli was just too decent for her, in the end. Even when he tried to be a jerk, the closest he could come was Jackal PI. And yeah, Jackal PI was a misogynistic douche, but he was so over the top with his schtick that Maxie couldn't take it seriously. Maxie didn't know what to do with good guys. So rarely did they cross her path and want anything to do with her. Granted, Lucky was a good guy, but he hadn't exactly been wearing his superhero costume when he hooked up with her. If drugs hadn't dulled his senses, he wouldn't have come anywhere near her. Lucky was firmly entrenched in bad guy at that point, a jerk cheating on his wife, so his encounter with Maxie didn't really count as anything.

But, Spinelli was good, and Maxie didn't know what to do with that. So, she pushed him away. Sure, she could have learned what to do with him. She could have asked some advice from… well, she wasn't sure who she'd get advice from because everyone she knew was dating someone who had at least a little jerk in him. Even Dante was kind of a jerk sometimes, so not even Lulu could…

Maxie stopped. Lulu… Perfect example of her selfishness. She still hadn't called anyone to tell them about Lulu. Sure, Mac had probably informed all necessary parties by now, but Maxie probably should have told them. She had been there, after all. She had watched Lulu go down. Dante would want to know details. He would want to know Lulu's last words, and how could she tell him that her last words were just a scream?

She could tell him what she said before that, though. _"Dante won't forgive you for this, Sonny. He'll make sure you pay."_ Maybe that was why he shot Lulu. Not because of Dante, specifically, but because Lulu would tell. If she didn't tell Dante, she would tell her father, and Sonny didn't want to go to war with Luke Spencer. Luke was a joke these days, but Maxie heard that there was a time when Luke was pretty badass in his own right. She bet the badass would come back when he found out that Sonny had killed his daughter.

"No one was supposed to know."

Though she whispered, Maxie's own voice was so loud in the silence of the night that she jumped. She focused her eyes on the doorknob. She waited to see it jiggle. She thought that, since Jason hadn't come to talk to her, it meant that Sam hadn't told him anything. But, maybe she had told him, and he had waited until Sam went to sleep. Once Sam was asleep, maybe he had called Sonny, and any second, the door would open. Maybe Jason had left the door unlocked, and Sonny would just walk in and…

Maxie jumped up and ran to the door. She tripped over her own feet when she was almost there. She stumbled, then fell against the door hard. Her hand went straight for the locks, but they were all in place. Just to be sure, though, she unlocked them, then locked them again. Maxie leaned against the door, her face pressed against the wood. She tried to hear on the other side, tried to hear Sonny coming up to the door. She wished someone had taught her how to pick a lock. She remembered seeing Jason lock his gun away before he went to bed. It figures. The hitman with a heart was also a safety nut.

He probably locked them away to keep Spinelli safe.

Maxie shook her head and pushed away from the door. She hugged herself as she turned away from the door and looked to the fireplace. There were pictures on the mantel, probably Sam's idea. Jason didn't strike her as the pictures type. He was the minimalist type. She looked around the sparsely decorated room. Really? A pool table? Jason really needed to let her do something with this place. It was kind of dark, and Maxie could brighten it up easily. Decorating would at least take her mind off of things.

Or not, as she found herself looking, once again, at the pictures. She walked toward the fireplace, and the picture drew closer. Spinelli and Sam stood outside of the door of their office. Spinelli pointed to Jackal. Sam pointed to McCall. Spinelli had been so happy…

Maxie took the picture from the mantel and held it with both hands. "Why are you so stubborn?" Maxie's hand shook as she let the side of the picture go and pressed her fingertips against the image of Spinelli. "Why can't you just let things go?"

"It's not really in him to let things go."

Maxie jumped and her hands fumbled at the picture. It almost fell, but she managed to keep her grip. Maxie spun around. "Don't do that! You scared me!"

Jason didn't move. He stood with his arms dangling at his sides. Night time Jason didn't look all that different from daytime Jason. He still had on a black t-shirt, but instead of jeans, he wore loose fitting pajama pants. She never thought of Jason as the pajama type, and wondered if Sam had bought the dark blue pants for him. He looked like he might have been sorry, but he didn't say anything. Maxie held on to the picture tightly and started to walk toward him. Jason stood at the far end of the sofa. Maxie stopped at about the sofa's halfway point.

"I thought you went to bed," Maxie said.

"Sam went to sleep."

"And what? You waited for her to fall asleep so you could come down and harass me? Or maybe he's already called you and told you that it's time to take me out. Ya know what, Jason? You're pretty low, and I hope Sam wakes up in time to see you dragging my dead body out of here."

Maxie would never claim that she could read Jason Morgan's face, but this time, she saw what was definitely confusion cloud his eyes and wrinkle his forehead. Did he really not know what was going on? Now, she wished Sam had told him, because she didn't want to be the one that did it. Or, at least she wished that Sam was there, so she would have someone with her.

"What happened tonight, Maxie?"

"Spinelli and Lulu died," Maxie said, "that's what happened tonight. I'm only alive because Spinelli took a bullet for me and he covered me. He was on top of me, and I felt him dying, I felt him bleeding, and…" Maxie shook her head. "Just tell me, Jason. Just tell me if you've already talked to him and I'm next. Are you at least gonna give me a fighting chance?"

"What are you talking about?"

"God, you're so thick! I'm talking about Sonny!"

Maxie watched as the light bulb went on. It was slow and Maxie rolled her eyes. Yeah, she got it. Sonny was his best friend, Jason wanted to think the best about him, blah blah blah. But, come on! He knew that Sonny had never liked Spinelli and had threatened to kill him before. Jason never took it seriously. Well, now, he had to take it seriously. He had to, because Sonny had done it.

"That's right," Maxie said. "Your buddy stood there with a gun and he shot Spinelli. He shot him in the back, Jason. Spinelli jumped in front of me, took the bullet, and I looked in his eyes as the bullet hit him. And then, when we were on the ground, he shot Lulu. And then, because ya know, he couldn't just end it like that, he blew the place up, burned it down on top of us, that's what he did. We were supposed to die, and your friend was behind it. So, what are you going to do, Jason? Are you going to take me out to the waterfront and kill me? Or are you going to actually do what you promised and take care of Spinelli?"

Jason was quiet, and Maxie had one of those moments when she thought that maybe she should start thinking before she speaks. She was hoping that she made him angry enough that he vowed to take out Sonny, but it was entirely possible that she had just pissed him off enough to take her out. She would have time to run, though. If Jason was going to act, it would be quick, and his gun was locked away in a lockbox in the closet. He'd have to go get it, and that would be enough time for her to get up the stairs and get to Sam. Maxie didn't trust that Jason wouldn't try to kill her, but she trusted that Sam wouldn't let him kill her.

"You lie," Jason said. His voice was low, even, scary. "You lie a lot."

"I'm not lying."

"Why wouldn't you?"

"Because I get nothing from lying. I want someone to pay for Spinelli. I want his murderer to pay, and sending you after the wrong guy doesn't get me anything. Hell, maybe I still won't get anything because you'll just go and talk to Sonny and he'll convince you that you were wrong and then he'll have me killed because if you don't kill him, I have no choice but to go to the cops. And you know what happens if I go to the cops?"

"Mac will arrest him."

"If Dante doesn't kill him first."

Jason took in a deep breath and his entire body went still. Not that he was a big bustling moving thing before, but it was like he wasn't even there anymore. A cold knot formed in Maxie's stomach and as the knot came loose, the cold wound through Maxie's body. She took a step back. She pressed the picture of Spinelli and Sam against her chest and held on.

Slowly, life came back to Jason. He turned around and shoved his feet in his boots that sat beside the door. He snatched his leather jacket from the back of the wooden chair that was shoved up to the desk, the chair that Spinelli used to sit in when he did his super secret work for Stone Cold. Jason went to the closet and Maxie couldn't help the squeak that jumped out of her throat when he pulled down the lockbox. Maxie's eyes were glued to Jason as the gun came out, then the clip. He slapped the clip into the butt of the gun, then shoved the gun into his pocket.

"Dante hasn't killed him," Jason said. "Max would have called me if he'd seen Dante." He didn't look at Maxie, and she didn't think he was really talking to her. He was probably just talking to himself, but he muttered louder than most people did.

Jason marched to the door, jerked the door open. He paused and turned toward Maxie, and this time, he was talking to her. "Don't leave, here, you understand?" She nodded, and then he was gone. The door slammed behind her, and Maxie just stood frozen, staring at the door.

Sam came downstairs, though Maxie didn't know if it was seconds after Jason left, minutes, or if she'd been standing there, clutching that picture and staring at the door for hours.

"Maxie?" She didn't turn to Sam. She kept staring at the door, kept holding the picture. "Maxie, what happened?"

Her mouth opened and, at first, nothing came out. Maxie closed her mouth, took a few deep breaths, and the next time, words actually came out. "I told him what happened," she said.

"Oh, God." Maxie heard Sam coming down the stairs, and then she was in her line of sight as she ran to the door. Sam opened the door, looked out into the hallway. She went out into the hallway, and then she came back in. "Maxie, where's Jason?"

Maxie pressed the picture into her chest until she was pretty sure that it would make a bruise. She blinked as the world beyond the front door came into her view, joined her world. "I…" She stopped. Her throat was dry. Maxie gulped twice, and when she was sure she could get out a full sentence, she said, "I think he's going to kill Sonny."


	4. Chapter 4

"I'm not like them, Sam." Maxie pulled her legs up until she could rest her chin on her knees. She wrapped her arms around her legs. In such a small ball, she still felt completely wide open. She had everything covered, but felt like everything was still in the open. She felt vulnerable, and Maxie hated that feeling. If there was something she could do to make it go away, she'd be on it in a hot second. However, it wasn't going to happen. Maxie could come up with a dozen different ways to accessorize an outfit, but she couldn't figure out how to make herself feel secure again.

"What do you mean?" Sam sat in the chair, leaning forward. She had tried sitting next to Maxie, tried being maternal or something, but Maxie couldn't take it. As much as she wanted to cry on someone's shoulder, she kept telling herself that she was Maxie Jones and she didn't need support. She just needed an awesome pair of shoes and a handbag to match.

Maxie took a deep breath. She closed her eyes and pressed her forehead against her knees. She wasn't sure if Sam would even understand, and if the quiet between them hadn't been so intense, Maxie probably wouldn't have said anything. She just couldn't take the silence anymore, and even though she would have much preferred talking about the upcoming fall fashion season, she found herself talking about this.

It was the polyester skirt in the room. Sam didn't really want to talk about it anymore than Maxie did, but what else was there to talk about? Avoiding a situation was so much more tiring than just talking about it. Sure, she'd end up emotionally exhausted, but at least it wouldn't be weighing on her so much. She'd still worry, for sure. Maxie would worry until Jason came back and she knew what had happened, but at least she wouldn't be holding onto it, and more importantly, she wouldn't be the only one worrying about it. If Maxie had to suffer, she sure as hell wasn't doing it alone.

Maxie let her arms drop and slid her legs along the sofa until her toes touched the armrest. She put her hands in her lap and looked down at her nails. That was one amazing shop, to be sure. Her manicure was still perfectly intact after all of that. It was going to be a shame to go tomorrow and get the nails replaced. Maxie had loved the line of sparkles that etched the curve of her French manicure, but she even with as hard as she had scrubbed her hands, she just knew that she still had Spinelli's blood underneath her nails. The only way to get it off was to get rid of the nails. She had to just start all over again.

"Maxie?"

She lifted her head. She had started this conversation. She should have figured that Sam wouldn't just let it drop. Sam had become way too maternal in the last year. It was just too easy to talk to her. Maxie almost wished she'd just gone home. It was a lot easier to avoid talking to Mac. She wouldn't have felt as compelled to talk as she did with Sam.

"I thought it would feel good, ya know? I thought I'd tell Jason and I would have this sense of accomplishment when Jason went out the door. Like, I could stop worrying, ya know? I mean, he went out so angry, and he grabbed his gun, and I just knew. But now… I don't want anyone to die because of me, Sam, not even Sonny."

"If Sonny dies tonight, it won't be because of you," Sam told her. "You didn't make Jason do anything."

"I facilitated it, though. I could have just kept my mouth shut."

"And then what? Sonny would never believe that you wouldn't say anything. And do you know what would have happened when he came after you? If he got you, too?"

"What?"

"I'd have killed him myself."

Maxie's head tilted to the side. She rested her head against her knees. "Why, Sam?" she asked. "Why do you care so much about me?"

Sam's mouth opened, then closed. Maxie watched as Sam tried to come up with words to describe what she felt. Maxie knew how that felt. It was why she had stopped thinking before she spoke. It was too hard trying to find the right words. Sometimes, the right words didn't even exist. So, now, Maxie just let her mouth go, figuring that the first thing that came to her mind had to be better than something that she had had the time to make up, because if she made them up, they wouldn't be as true to her feelings as those instant words were.

"I can't really put words to it," Sam finally said.

"You feel sorry for me."

"In a way," Sam said with a shrug. "I guess I just see where you're coming from. You feel like you don't have anyone, and I want you to know that you do have someone. You have someone who won't judge you or expect anything from you."

"You'll let me be as bad as I wanna be?" Maxie asked with a smirk.

"No," Sam said, "but only because I don't think you really want to be bad. If you wanted to be bad, if you really were bad, this whole thing wouldn't bother you so much. You wouldn't have guilt over something that you have no reason to feel guilty over."

"Don't I, though? Have reason, I mean." Maxie swung her legs off the sofa and leaned forward until she could rest her forearms on her legs. "I sent him out there. I pushed just the right buttons."

"Did you do it on purpose?"

"I…" She stopped, because in that moment, she really didn't know. It had been in her head the entire night that if she told Jason, he might go and avenge Spinelli. But, it had also been in her head that she might just get herself killed. In fact, by the time she had let it all out, she had convinced herself that she was going to die, if not that night, then in the next week or so, and that Jason would be the one who killed her.

"I didn't want to say anything at all, really," Maxie said.

"Why not?"

"Because I thought he'd kill me," she told her. Sam sat up quickly and her back went straight. Obviously, she didn't see things the same way that Maxie did. "What?"

"You really think that Jason would have killed you? I mean, I know you were afraid in the parking garage, but I thought it would be better once I got you here and you saw that he wasn't going to hurt you."

"I don't know him the way you do," Maxie told him. "He's never liked me anyway, and he only put up with me because of you and Spinelli. I just… I don't know, Sam. I don't know this sweet guy that you keep telling me he is. I know the hitman. I know the criminal, and if he could kill other people, he could kill me, too."

Sam sighed. She leaned forward and let her arms drop, her hands clasped and dangling between her knees. "I'm not going to sit here and tell you that everything Jason does is right."

"Well, that's good, 'cause then you'd be a liar, and I can't really take you being a liar right now."

"Jason has done a lot of things that would get him put in jail for the rest of his life," Sam told her. "To be with Jason, I have to accept that and I have to close my eyes to some things. I have to make excuses for what he does and I have to rationalize it."

"You're really good at that."

"Why do I think saying thank you would be wrong?"

Maxie shrugged. "Only partially," she said.

Sam put her hands to her chest as she said, "I'm not perfect, and I have been judged, so I try not to judge Jason or anyone else. Do I sometimes imagine the two of us having a life without the mob? Sure, and it's usually when something like this happens. I don't want to see our friends dying, and I want Jason and I to be able to think about the future without having to consider the extra risks. Am I going to ask him to change? No, I'm not. I'm going to let him make his decisions, and I'm going to do what I can to have it all make sense to me."

"So, you just see him as this great guy because you need to see him that way."

"He is a great guy, Maxie," Sam said. "He's a great guy that does not-great things."

"He kills people."

"Maxie…"

"No, no, no," she interrupted her, "he kills people. We both know that. He rationalizes why he kills them, but he still does kill them. So, do you understand why I was afraid? I told him that Sonny killed Spinelli, and I couldn't enjoy hoping that he'd go kill Sonny because I was terrified that he'd kill me instead, that Sonny had already called him and he was just waiting for the chance to take care of me, or whatever they like to call it so they don't have to call themselves murderers."

"I wish I knew what to say to make this better for you."

"You can't say anything," Maxie said with a shrug. "You can tell me that he doesn't like it, but he still does it. And you can tell me that he doesn't want to do it anymore, but let's face it, Sam, it's not like he's got a lot of employable skills, ya know? What's he gonna do for a living?"

Sam shrugged. "We've talked about it. That's how I can tell you that he doesn't enjoy it and that he sees the life he's leading. Do you realize I make more excuses for Jason than he does for himself? Now, I'm not going to say that he feels guilty enough to turn himself in for any of it. He's not going to jail, but that doesn't mean that he doesn't want to stop."

"But, he'd do it tonight," Maxie said. "He had this look on his face that said he was ready to kill, and I'm totally a hypocrite over it because I just went on and on about him being a murderer, but tonight, I want him to be that. I won't even make excuses, because there are none. I want Sonny to pay, and this is the only way he'd ever pay for anything."

"That's not true," Sam told her. "You could testify. You could send him to prison."

Maxie snorted. "Yeah, right. Sonny never goes to prison. He'd kill me first."

"Jason would never let that happen."

"Whatever," Maxie said, rolling her eyes. "Not that it matters, anyway. If Jason really thinks he's doing right by Spinelli tonight, he'll kill him. And right now? I really am worried that he'll come back and say that he didn't kill him. I'm worried that he'll come back and Sonny will have given him some kind of explanation that makes sense in a Sonny and Jason way, and either they'll shut me up or he'll convince me to keep my mouth shut and Spinelli will never be avenged."

"That won't happen," Sam told her. "I promise you that."

"How can you make that promise?"

"I won't let it happen. I will not stand by and let Sonny hurt anyone here. I will stand in front of you if I have to."

Maxie's voice was soft and tentative as she said, "Just like Spinelli did."

"There are a lot of us that love you, Maxie, and you know someone cares if they're willing to take a bullet for you. It won't come to that, though." Sam stood up and moved to the sofa. She sat beside Maxie and took hold of her hands. Sam's hands were warm. Maxie wondered if her mother's hands would have been so warm, if they would have folded over her own hands so easily. She wondered if Mac had called her mother and told her what happened. Maxie wondered if her mother even cared.

"Jason will take care of this, Maxie."

"How can you be so sure?" Maxie asked.

"Because I know Jason," she told her. "I know that this is not something that he's going to let stand. He couldn't protect Spinelli, but he can protect you, and if Jason can't, then I will."

Maxie didn't know what to say to that. Here was someone who had no reason at all to have any kind of devotion or allegiance to her, and yet she was basically putting her life on the line for Maxie. Her own mother hadn't been there for her nearly as much as Sam had. Maxie had to depend on someone, something she hated to do, and oddly enough, she felt that she could actually do that. Even though she was afraid, even though she had every reason to think that Sam would fail her, Maxie believed in Sam, she trusted her.

The door came open and Maxie broke her eye contact with Sam to watch as Jason came inside. He closed the door behind him, not exactly a slam, but he didn't ease it closed, either. Maxie jumped to her feet, and Sam was only seconds behind her. She realized that, while one of her hands was free, Sam was still holding tightly to the other one. Maxie rose her free hand and balled it into a fist. She bit down on her fist and let Sam ask the pressing question.

"Well?" Sam asked. "Is he dead?"

Jason looked at both of them, and he took too long to answer. Maxie's fist fell to her side. "Why!" Maxie screamed at him. "What's wrong with you? Are you freaking stupid? Are you that brain damaged that you let him talk you out of it?" She looked at Sam. "See? Do you see why I didn't trust him? Now, he's going to kill me!"

"Maxie, please," Sam said, "let him explain." She looked to Jason. "You're going to explain, right? You had better explain."

"I almost killed him," Jason said as he pulled his gun from the holster at his back and set it on the table. "I went there to kill him."

"But?" Sam asked. "But what, Jason? Was Carly there? Did she talk you out of it?"

"Carly has no idea what's going on, but she'll know soon enough."

"Why, Jason?"

He put his hands to his face and Maxie hoped that he was torturing himself. She hoped that the good person Sam told her about was really in there so that he could feel torn about this. If he was going to kill her, she at least wanted him to feel like crap about it.

"All I asked you to do is make sure that he's punished," Maxie said. "I just asked that you keep your promise to Spinelli, but you couldn't even do that!"

"He's going to be punished."

"How, huh?"

"He's going to prison."

Maxie went still. She had to be hearing things. Jason wasn't a lawyer, he was a hitman and his job was to kill people. She shook her head. "What are you talking about?"

When Jason spoke next, his eyes were on Sam. "I was sitting outside of the house, and I had the gun in my hand. It would have been easy. Max and Milo couldn't beat me on their best day. And then, I don't know. I was thinking it all through in my head, making sure I had some kind of cover and I realized that I didn't. Without Spinelli, I'd be going to jail. And then I realized that it wasn't right. I thought about Michael and all the times I've tried to tell him that what we do isn't right, that killing people isn't the only way to get results."

"So, you what?" Maxie asked. "Suddenly got a conscience?"

"No," he said, turning to look at Maxie, "I just realized that there really is something worse than death for Sonny, and he deserves to suffer as long and as much as possible. You're going to testify against him in court."

"What?" Maxie looked at Sam. "Has he lost his mind?"

"I…" Sam shook her head. "Jason, I don't understand."

"I don't really understand, either," he said. "I sat there, ready to kill him, and before I could go inside, I called Mac. I told him that Maxie was here. I told him that Maxie had told me what happened."

"And he just believed you?"

"He wanted to believe me," Jason said. "He wanted to believe me. Let's face it, Sonny and I are always the top suspects when somebody dies in this town, and I handed him his own personal Public Enemy Number One on a silver platter. I've been arrested a lot in this town, but I've never seen them get a warrant for anyone that fast."

"You called the cops," Sam said.

"On Sonny," Maxie said.

"Yeah." Jason sat on the edge of the desk, and Maxie noted it was the side where Spinelli used to sit with his computer. He put a hand to his face and wiped down. He looked up and pointed a finger at Maxie. "And since I did my part, you're doing yours."

"What do you mean, you did your part?"

"Getting revenge is for myself," Jason said. "Getting justice is for Spinelli. So, you're going to testify, and I'm going to make sure that you stay alive long enough to do it."


	5. Chapter 5

Maxie spread the blanket on the cool, damp grass and sat down. Sam had looked at her strange when she asked if there was an old ratty thing she could use to sit on the ground, but she needed something to protect her clothes. Georgie would understand. She knew her sister wasn't the type to cop a squat, or whatever people called it. That dress cost way too much, and the coat even more, for her to just sit down on the ground and ruin it.

She hated going there, and didn't do it often, but again, Georgie would understand. Georgie was the sentimental one, and Maxie had no doubt that if things had gone a different way, her sister would have come to see her at least a couple of times a week. Going to see Georgie made her so angry, though, and when the anger went away, the depression set in, and well, Georgie knew that Maxie didn't do depression very well.

Would Spinelli understand? There was no way that she would be able to go see him very often, if at all after the initial burial. Cemetaries just weren't Maxie's thing. She preferred to be places where people smiled and laughed. There had been enough death in her life that she didn't need to be reminded of it all the time. But, still, he'd probably expect her to come see him every once in a while. Wouldn't he get lonely?

Lulu would understand. There was a time when Lulu would have just called her selfish about the whole thing, but she and Maxie had come a long way since then. Lulu knew Maxie wasn't that type of girl. She didn't do the grieving and moping and stuff. No, Lulu's spirit was probably waiting to watch the fallout, because Maxie was sure to do something incredibly stupid really soon. That's how she dealt with things, and Lulu got that. So, Maxie was pretty sure Lulu wouldn't expect her to visit much and wouldn't be disappointed when Maxie sent flowers to the grave instead of taking them herself.

Maxie sighed and put her hands to her cheeks. Her fingers fell over her eyes and she looked at the tombstone in front of her through her splayed fingers. This was really, really unfair. Why did she have to keep coming to graveyards to see the people she loved? Why did she keep surviving?

Maxie almost laughed at that. Isn't that what she and so many others had accused Sonny of for years? The people around him died in horrible ways, and yet, he stayed alive. Maxie had her own growing grave of grief, and the people around her just kept getting sucked in. Who was next? Sam? Mac?

And then she wanted to throw up. She was nothing like Sonny. Okay, so they had the same kind of luck, i.e. really good for them but really bad for anyone around them, but that was where it ended. Maxie would never have anyone killed, not literally. Okay, so she might murder someone's career if they crossed her and she had the opportunity, but they would still be alive to try and find a new one.

Maxie shook her head. She had more important things to do right then than compare herself to Sonny Corinthos. As a matter of fact, she had more important things to do for the rest of her life, and if she could stop her mind from going there ever again, that would be fantastic.

"So, I'm here," Maxie said as she brushed hair out of her face. "I know, it's been a while, but just in case you don't know, I thought I should tell you. I mean, you could have been looking in on Mac right then or something, and it's entirely possible that he hasn't found you, yet. But, really, you should hear this from me, anyway, because it's kind of my fault."

Maxie took in a deep breath and held it until her lungs burned. She coughed her exhale, then leaned a little forward. "Spinelli's dead," Maxie said to her sister's tombstone.

Maxie paused, waiting for Georgie's response. She didn't actually hear her or anything. Maxie had issues, but she wasn't crazy. She knew Georgie wasn't going to appear in front of her or anything, but Maxie knew her sister, so she could always guess what Georgie's response was going to be to something. Maxie didn't tell anyone, but she did sometimes have conversations with Georgie. When she really needed her sister, she would either force herself to the cemetary or she would go to Georgie's old room at Mac's, and she would talk to her. Okay, so Maxie was speaking for her, and maybe sometimes she did a little less channeling and a little more putting the words she wanted to hear into her sister's mouth, but still… Maxie missed talking to Georgie, even the times when Georgie said things that she never wanted to hear again, and sometimes, Maxie just had to make it happen again.

_I know._

"I'm so sorry, Georgie," Maxie said. "I was supposed to watch out for him, take care of him for you, and it started out really good. Things just… They got messed up, like they always do."

_You did what you could, Maxie. You gave it a shot._

"A shot." Maxie groaned. Leave it to her screwed up mind to stick something like that into the illusion she conjured of her sister. "I got him a shot, alright."

_It's not like you dragged him into it. You tried to stop him, he just wouldn't listen to you. Spinelli had that problem, sometimes._

"He had it a lot! I kept telling him, leave it alone. I even told him that if it was such a major thing, he should go to Jason and let him handle it. Spinelli was just so stubborn and he felt like he had to prove himself to Jason, and I blame Jason for that, you know. If he was a little less robot and a little more human sometimes, then Spinelli would have already known that he didn't have to prove himself. He'd have already known whatever it was that Sam said about how Jason feels about Spinelli. But, no, he has to be Mr. Cold… Stone Cold…"

_Stop it, alright? It's not your fault this happened, or Jason's, or Sam's. It's not Spinelli's. It's one person's fault, and you know that. You didn 't kill Spinelli, and you didn't kill Lulu._

"We'll see about that, won't we?" Maxie hadn't seen anyone other than Sam or Jason since they took her away from the police station that night, which meant that no one had gotten the chance to tell her that it was all her fault. Though, since Spinelli didn't have any family in Port Charles, she might be able to avoid it. Well, avoid it, that is, on Spinelli's end. There was still Lulu to consider.

Lulu had an entire family, and that family had friends, and it was entirely possible that they would all look at her like she was the devil. And then, there was Dante. If ever there was a reason to be glad to basically be on house arrest, it was that she didn't have to see Dante. Maxie hadn't seen him since she watched him crying over Lulu's dead body, and she wasn't looking forward to seeing him at Lulu's funeral. Of course, that was assuming she had the guts to show up at Lulu's funeral.

_Of course, you're going to Lulu's funeral._

"Or, um, I don't know, not?" Maxie sighed. She hated funerals, and it was bad enough that she already had to go to Spinelli's. Even if she wasn't obligated by the fact that he had saved her life and he had loved her, she'd have gone because he needed someone to be there for him. She kept envisioning the loneliest funeral, with only herself, Sam and Jason occupying the place. She was already going to have to go to one funeral. Maxie would have been more than happy to have an excuse not to go to another.

"It's not like Sam and Jason are going to go to Lulu's funeral," Maxie said as she thought about it. "Okay, so Sam might go, since she's Nikolas's cousin and Lulu's his sister, but Jason's probably not going to go. Everybody knows now that Sonny was the shooter, and they're gonna blame Jason because Sonny worked for him and lived with him. I can just hide out with Jason—"

Maxie couldn't even finish that thought. That was just freaking awful. Being alone for who knows how long with Jason Morgan? She'd rather put her eyes out with a pair of six inch stilletos. Besides, if she wanted to sit in silence, Maxie could do that perfectly fine all on her own.

"Yeah, so, um, I should probably go," Maxie said as she pushed herself up from the ground. "I just came by to let you know about Spinelli and to tell you I was sorry that I messed things up. I did that, so yeah, I'm gonna go."

Maxie looked behind her. Sam was keeping her distance. The only way Maxie could get out of the house was to take way too many people. Sam was coming because she didn't think Maxie should be alone. There was one guard for Sam, one for her, and Maxie was pretty sure she'd seen a car trailing them. Jason was taking this whole thing a lot more seriously than she thought he would. Though, Sonny had made bail, so Maxie guessed that Jason had cause to be cautious.

_I'll tell Spinelli that you're sorry when I see him, okay? And I'll make sure he knows that you love him._

"Why would you lie to him like that, Georgie?"

_We both know it's not a lie. _

"And, how do you know that you'll be seeing him, anyway? I mean, look at the company Spinelli keeps. If Jason wasn't already a bad enough influence, I'm sure I've completely tarnished his soul."

_It's Spinelli, Maxie. Of course, I'll see him._

Maxie sighed. Of course, Spinelli would see Georgie, which meant that, obviously, when Maxie's luck ran out, neither of them would be seeing her. There was a spot waiting for Maxie, but it was nowhere near where Georgie and Spinelli would be spending eternity.

"Bye, Georgie," Maxie said softly. "I'll see you next time something bad happens. We both know it will."

Maxie turned her back on Georgie's grave, thinking that maybe she should go see her sister when something good happened, at least once in a while. That would be so weird, though. She'd probably forget, especially since good things were so rare, anyway.

Maxie picked up the blanket and rolled it up, making sure to keep the part that touched the ground away from her clothes. She walked gingerly across the lawn, glad at least that she had worn wedges instead of plain high heels. She was having a bad enough time. She didn't need a broken ankle, or a heel covered in mud and dirt.

As she walked up to Sam, Maxie had to give her credit. She hadn't tried to intrude. Sam had stood back the entire time and let Maxie do her thing. Sam was good enough about it that Maxie figured she could at least offer to return the favor.

"You know," Maxie said, "if you need to, I don't know, see anybody out here, while we're here and all, I mean, I could stand back. I mean, we're here and all, so if you wanted to, there's no point in you coming back again."

Sam smiled and her head tilted to the side. She reached out and put a hand on Maxie's shoulder. "Thanks," she said, "but I don't think…" Sam sighed and her point of focus went past Maxie's shoulder, and then just to nowhere.

"Sam?"

"I have to come here too much." Sam's voice was soft and distant. Maxie wondered if she should say anything. Sam sounded like she could have been just thinking out loud, but maybe she was actually talking to her. "Pretty soon…"

"Another one," Maxie said.

"Yeah."

Sam's gaze shifted and then she was looking at Maxie again. Maxie had been wondering about Sam, what was going on in her head. She hadn't said anything to Maxie, hadn't talked about Spinelli. Maxie had always assumed that Sam loved Spinelli like a brother or something, but he was dead and she had barely said anything at all. Maxie kept telling herself that Sam was being strong for her and Jason, or that she just didn't like to show her emotions, but sometimes, she did wonder if Sam really cared about Spinelli, or if she'd only been humoring him like so many others.

"He was so smart," Sam said. Her voice cracked as she spoke. "He was so smart and at the same time, so stupid. How many times did we tell him not to mess with Sonny? Why couldn't he just tell us so Jason could handle it?"

"Sam?"

"Yeah?"

"You're crying."

"Yeah," she said. "I know." Sam wiped at her cheeks. She swallowed and her whole head moved with it. "Sorry."

Maxie shrugged. "I guess I just haven't seen you cry at all and it's just weird seeing it now."

"You haven't seen me cry, but trust me, it's happened. Just take a look in the laundry basket and you'll see the dried, gross imprint of my face on Jason's t-shirts." Sam wiped her face again. "But you shouldn't have to see it."

"It's okay, Sam. I mean, if you wanna cry and everything, I'm fine. We can cry together, and then we can fix each other's make-up or something. It'll be a bonding experience."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Sam put her arm around Maxie's shoulders, and as she led her off, Maxie said, "I'm serious, though. If you wanna visit anybody while we're out here."

"Another time," Sam said. "I think I've had about as much of this place as I can handle today, and we'l be back here soon enough." Sam pulled her arm tight around Maxie, pulling her close for a half-hug, then loosened her grip. "Come on," she said. "It's time we got back to the penthouse, anyway. Jason's going to get worried if we're gone too much longer."

"He's really serious about this, isn't he? About me testifying."

"Completely."

"And you promise that he can keep me safe? He's not going to let Sonny kill me?"

"Sweetie, if there was ever something you didn't have to worry about, it's Sonny killing you. I swear to you, we'll keep you safe, and Sonny's going to pay."

"You keep saying that, and Mac keeps saying it…" Maxie needed to talk to Mac, but she wasn't ready. She spoke to him when she had to, when it had to do with the case, but other than that, there wasn't much she could say to him right now. The fact that she was staying with Sam and Jason just gave them more things to argue about, and she had to at least get through Spinelli's funeral before she could even think of arguing with Mac.

"He's going to pay, Maxie."

"Yeah, well, a lot of people have said that." Maxie sighed and pressed her head against Sam's arm. "I'm just saying, I'll believe it when I see it, and I have never wanted to see something so badly in my life."


	6. Chapter 6

Normally, Maxie was all for attention, but not today. The eyes in the courtroom bore into her. All of the people she'd been hidden away from and all the people she'd been hiding from were out there, watching her, listening to her as she told her story.

Dante left the courtroom after hearing Lulu's last words. Maxie watched Olivia hold onto his arm, trying to make him stay, but she must have seen the same thing in his eyes that Maxie saw because she let him go. If he stayed in there any longer, he was going to kill his father. It didn't matter that they were in front of a judge, surrounded by police and civilian witnesses. He would have killed him. Maxie was actually surprised that Sonny even made it to court. She had been sure that Dante would get to him while he was in jail, awaiting trial.

He had looked at her, though, before leaving the courtroom, and Maxie winced. She stopped telling her story for a minute. What was he thinking? Maxie had expected him to turn angry eyes on her, but instead, he just looked guilty. Maxie knew what she had done to feel her own guilt. She had survived. But, what had Dante done?

Dante turned away from her and walked out of the courtroom, and Maxie finished her story. As the District Attorney said, "No further questions, Your Honor," Maxie turned to the defense table. She was disgusted. Maxie had been absent from court for the rest of the trial, only being brought in to testify, and she had figured that Sonny would have a new lawyer. Diane was Spinelli's friend, after all. There was no way that she would defend his killer.

But, there she was, sitting next to him, a grim expression on her face. She leaned in to Sonny and he was angry. They argued about something. They argued until the judge called her name and Diane stood up. She looked at Maxie like she didn't want to do this, but Maxie didn't really care. She was still doing it.

Diane took a moment to brace herself, and before Maxie's eyes, she went from sorrowful to stern in a matter of seconds. Maxie could definitely see how she came to get Spinelli's nickname. Diane strode to her and stopped a few feet from the witness box.

"Ms. Jones," she started, and Maxie grunted. Maxie turned her eyes away from her and folded her arms. "Ms. Jones," Diane said again.

"Brusque Lady of Justice," Maxie muttered, accompanying it with another grunt. "Well, he got the brusque part, right."

"Excuse me?"

"How could you, Diane?" Maxie turned to her and dropped her hands into her lap. "How could you defend his murderer? I thought you were Spinelli's friend."

"Ms. Jones…"

"Don't you Ms. Jones me. You were Spinelli's friend and now you're trying to get his killer off. Well, go on, then, ask your questions, Brusque Lady of Betrayal. Ask your questions."

Diane stared at her with her mouth open and Maxie smirked. Good, she thought. Diane was off her game. Despite anything else she might have said, Diane scared the crap out of Maxie. She was a good lawyer, and Maxie had been afraid that she would say or do something that somehow mixed up Maxie's words, that she would confuse her enough to make her say something that tore everything apart. Yeah, she was risking being called out on contempt or whatever, but she had to assert herself before Diane could do it first.

Diane shook herself and once again, she put herself together. She looked up to the judge and, after clearing her throat, said, "Your Honor, I would like permission to treat Ms. Jones as a hostile witness."

The judge nodded his head. "Let the record show that Ms. Jones has been declared a hostile witness."

Maxie barked a laugh. "Hostile!" She looked to the District Attorney, who only shook her head. Okay, so maybe Maxie was being hostile. She probably wouldn't have gotten anywhere with an objection, anyway. "Whatever."

"Now, Ms. Jones, what would you say was your mental state after escaping the burning warehouse?"

"My mental state? Um… really screwed up? Terrified? Angry?"

"These are all emotions that can cloud one's judgment."

"Not likely, lady."

"Isn't it possible," Diane asked, "that, knowing the history between my client and Mr. Spinelli, your mind convinced you that it was Mr. Corinthos that you saw? Isn't it possible that, in wanting someone to pay for the tragic deaths of Mr. Spinelli and Ms. Spencer, you came up with a killer that would be a likely suspect to a lot of people?"

"No, Diane, that is not possible." Maxie wished she had brought her purse to the stand instead of leaving it with Sam. She wanted something to twist in her hands. She was nervous, and her hands were fidgeting. If she started messing with her hair, everyone would see and Diane could try to use her nervousness against her. But, if she had her purse, she could twist it where no one would be able to see.

"Why isn't that possible?"

"Because this isn't one of those quick moments," Maxie said. "I spent too much time staring at Sonny's face while he pointed that gun at us, that's why."

Diane turned away from her, and Maxie looked out at the courtroom again. The place was packed, filled with all of the faces that she had expected to see. The Spencers and Cassadines were there, the combined families taking up the first two rows behind the prosecution's desk. Sam sat with the Cassadines, Nikolas on one side of her and Alexis on the other. Jason was there, but he was all the way in the back. Maxie was impressed that he'd shown up at all. Maxie didn't come in with them, hadn't seen what happened when Jason and Sam walked into the courtroom, but she had to assume that there were some arguments had. He was supposed to be Sonny's buddy, after all, and almost everyone in the courtroom had already pegged Sonny as guilty before Maxie even started talking.

Michael still took his father's side, though, that was obvious. He sat directly behind Sonny, and his hand went to his father's shoulder every once in a while. His sister was with the Cassadines, though, and his mother and brother were in the back with Jason. Carly and Morgan had started up front with Michael, but Morgan got up when Maxie told the court that Sonny had shot Spinelli in the back. Carly got up and moved when he shot Lulu.

Maxie looked at Luke Spencer. He was on the end of the aisle, sitting next to his son. His face was drawn, his skin pale. His eyes burned red and Maxie wasn't sure if that was from liquor, tears, or some combination of both. He was the only one that didn't stare at Maxie while she spoke. While everyone was staring at her, Maxie stared at Luke, and he kept his eyes trained squarely on his former best friend.

"No more questions, Your Honor."

Yeah, that's right, because there weren't any questions to ask. Diane may have been a good lawyer, but she had to be a miracle worker to get past Maxie's testimony. Maxie looked at the jury, and it was obvious, they had made up their minds. Sonny Corinthos was finally going to pay for something, and it was all because of Maxie.

"Redirect?"

"No, Your Honor. We have no more questions for this witness."

"You may step down, Ms. Jones."

Maxie nodded. She stood up slowly and brushed the wrinkles out of her skirt. She turned and walked away from the witness stand and moved through the courtroom. After all that time staring at Sonny, Maxie now forced herself not to look at him as she passed him. If she looked at him, she might cause a scene, and she'd already pushed it about as far as she could. If she went too far, maybe the jury would think about what Diane had tried to use as a defense, and Maxie couldn't risk that. She couldn't risk Sonny going free, not because of something she did.

Something inside told her that, even if Sonny went free, he wouldn't live for long. If Luke or Dante didn't kill him, Jason might. Nikolas or Lucky might do it. Any number of people in that courtroom might have killed Sonny, and the only one who would care would be Michael. That kid was just too brainwashed. Oh well, it's not like Maxie ever cared to be friends with the kid or anything. If he wanted to be deluded, that was his business.

As she passed the first row of spectators, Maxie saw Sam starting to rise and she shook her head. "Stay with your family, Sam."

"Maxie?"

"I'm fine."

She wasn't, but there were other people who needed Sam. That paused moment let Maxie see that Sam was holding Nikolas's hand. Nikolas was no longer staring at Maxie. He wasn't looking at anyone, just staring forward, and holding his cousin's hand. Until the trial was over and Jason was sure that Maxie was safe, she would be living with him and Sam, so she would have Sam at home. Let her cousin have her now. And wow, when did Maxie become so sharing? God, she hoped it didn't last too long. It felt so weird.

Maxie didn't look at anyone else, even though she felt them looking at her. She stared straight forward, looking at the door. She watched it open as she came close and felt Jason follow her into the hallway. He spoke to her, but Maxie didn't stop walking to really listen to him. Between the click of her heels against the floor, she heard him say that Sam was with her family, she was okay, so he was going to take Maxie back to the penthouse. Maxie didn't respond, she just kept walking, and she continued to walk until she heard Dante's voice ahead from in front of her.

"This is my fault."

Maxie looked up and he was a few feet away. His hands were shoved in his pockets. His tie hung loosely around his neck, the knot a few inches down from where it had started the day knotted at his neck. His eyes were red and the tears were still falling from them. His hair looked like he had just rolled out of bed.

Maxie had apparently used up all of her good will with Sam because she said, "Ya know what, Dante? It kind of is."

"This isn't the time, Maxie," Jason said from behind her. "Let's go."

"Oh, like you care about Dante's feelings." Maxie turned her head to talk over her shoulder to Jason. "Let's all be honest right now. If he—" She stopped and looked back to Dante. "If you had told the truth when Sonny shot you, Lulu and Spinelli would still be here right now."

"I know," Dante said.

"If any of us who knew had told the truth, they'd be alive. If Jason, Sam and Carly hadn't protected him for years, they'd be alive. If I had talked Spinelli into taking whatever his evidence was to Jason or to Mac instead of following him and playing PI, they'd be alive. If Alexis hadn't defended him years ago, and if Diane hadn't defended him recently. So yeah, Dante, it's your fault, but it's all of our faults, too. We all gave Sonny too much rope and now, he hasn't just hanged himself. He's hanged the rest of us with him."

Dante stared at her and Maxie felt her skin tingling. Why couldn't they all just stop staring at her? He pulled his hands out of his pockets and put them to his face. His shoulders shook, which was how Maxie knew he was crying, because he didn't make a sound. When Dante's hands fell back to his sides, his face was soaked with tears.

"Did she really say all that?" Dante asked her. "Before he—"

"Before he shot her?" Maxie sighed. "Yeah, she said it."

"There's no way that he's going to get away with this," Dante said.

"That's kinda the point," Maxie said. "You think I'd have let Sam and Jason put me in their twisted version of the Witness Protection Program if I didn't think he'd go away for life?"

"Even if Diane gets him off," Dante said, "which I don't think she will, he'll never get away with this."

"Be honest with yourself, Dante," Maxie said. "You're a cop, not a killer. You won't do it."

"Maybe," he said, "maybe not. But, I would stand by while anybody in that courtroom did it for me."

Maxie took in a deep breath, and let it out slowly. "Dante…" She shook her head. "I'm sorry that you feel guilty or whatever, but I don't have it in me to make you feel better. I was never the kinda girl that made others feel better, and I'm sure not the one to do it now."

"I'm sorry, Maxie."

"Yeah, I'm sure you are, but you're sorry for Lulu. Everybody in that room is sorry for Lulu. Sam, Jason and I are the only ones that are sorry for Spinelli, so right now, even though it would totally be justice for someone to kill Sonny, I want him to go to jail instead, because I know Luke would be the first one to really get him, and I'm just selfish enough to be mad that he got killed for Lulu, not for Spinelli."

"Maxie…"

"Don't, okay? When this is over, we can talk about Lulu all you want, but I can only grieve for one person at a time, and right now, I pick Spinelli, because Lulu has a whole town of people to grieve for her. Spinelli just has me. And I… I gotta go before Uncle Mac finds me and tries to take me home, or Lainey finds me and tries to shrink me. And before anybody else finds me and tries to either get more details or, worse, hugs me." Maxie turned around and asked Jason, "Can we go now?"

"We could have gone five minutes ago," he said.

"Yeah, well, pretend it's five minutes ago and get me out of here. I've had enough of this whole thing for today, and trust me, nobody will be more glad than me when it's all over."


	7. Chapter 7

Maxie was expecting it. She hadn't known when or where, but she knew, at some point, Robin would find her. The knock on the door was tentative, and that's what gave her away. Everyone else that knocked on Jason's door was more confident about their reason for being there. The number of people who would have lacked that confidence was small, and out of those, the number who would actually have a reason to knock on Jason's door was even smaller.

"I knew you'd show up sooner or later." Maxie sat on the sofa, her hands curling around her knees. She turned to the side so she could see Robin. "I actually thought it would be a lot later."

Robin twisted her hands in front of her. She looked nervous, and part of Maxie was glad to see her off of her usual game, to see her not so much the strong standard that she was held up to after Georgie died. The part of her that would always love Robin like a sister, however, was sad to see her that way, and a little guilty for being the cause of it.

"I wanted to come see you before, but…"

"It's fine," Maxie said, cutting her off.

"No, it's not," Robin said, "just like it's not okay that I wasn't in the courtroom for you today either."

Robin's face had been conspicuously missing from the crowd of oglers, but Maxie hadn't said anything about it. As much as she had been expecting Robin to show up at some point, she'd also expected that she wouldn't see her in court. If Robin came to the courtroom, she would have had to choose sides. Maxie had enough pressure on her without adding that to the mix, too. Besides, what if she had picked the wrong side? How could Maxie have faced her in that courtroom if Robin was sitting beside Michael, directly behind Sonny.

"I get it, Robin," Maxie said. "Really, I do. You've been defending him so long, and I lie a lot, right?" At that, Maxie looked at Jason. He turned his head to the side and Maxie snorted. "Yeah, that's what I thought."

Robin still stood in the doorway, as though she was afraid to come inside. Jason's hand gripped the doorknob, ready to close the door, but probably unsure if he'd be closing it behind Robin as she came in or as she high-tailed it out of there. Robin looked up at Jason and he nodded. She stepped forward. Maxie snorted. Sure, it was Jason's home, but she really should have been asking for Maxie's permission. Maxie was the one that had to listen to what she said.

Jason closed the door behind Robin. The door closing was louder than Maxie had expected, the sound amplified in the silence of that swelled around them. Jason cleared his throat and Maxie looked up at him. "I'll go upstairs," he said. "You can call me if you need me."

"Trust me," Maxie said, "I won't be needing you. Robin might, though." Maxie put her gaze squarely on her cousin. "Will you need Jason to come to your rescue if I say not nice things?"

Robin looked over to Jason and said, "I can handle it."

He looked between the two women as if he was unsure, but Maxie could also see that he was glad for the reprieve, glad that he didn't have to be in the middle of this. He was probably wishing for a good non mob-related kidnapping or something, one that had nothing to do with Sonny. He should have been wishing that Georgie had never died, because then nothing would have happened between Maxie and Spinelli, thus pushing Maxie as far out of his sphere as possible. Jason Morgan, ladies and gentlemen! Just another person whose life has been turned upside down and inside out by Maxie Jones.

Maxie watched Jason go upstairs, his shoulders hunched, his hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans. It was easier watching him than it was to look at Robin. Sure, her cousin was probably going to say a lot of things meant to garner some sympathy for herself, some understanding, and Maxie would probably forgive her, but that didn't mean that it was any more right than anything else that had happene. Why did it always seem as though being mad at Robin for something was wrong? Somehow, no matter what she did, Robin always seemed to be okay, she was always forgiven.

Maybe Maxie was just jealous. Okay, so obviously, she was jealous. She was always called out when she did things. And yes, she deserved it most of the time, and yes, she had done things that hurt people, but Robin was no saint. She had hurt her fair share of people in her day, but because Robin was such a good person, she always did it because she thought it was best for them. Yeah, right.

Maxie waited until she heard the door close upstairs before she let herself face Robin. She didn't look at her, though, as much as put her eyes there. She didn't allow herself to take in the things that she would normally access about a person. Maxie didn't look to see if her shoes matched her purse, if she wore a belt and its color, what she had done with her hair. She looked at Robin, but she didn't focus on her, because even if she had actually cared about any of that other stuff right then, Maxie didn' t want to fully take in whatever emotions were conveyed by Robin's expression.

The silence between them was heavy and Maxie wanted to scream. Robin was the one that came to see her, she should have been the first to talk. Didn't she always know exactly what to say? Wasn't that part of what made her so ridiculously amazing to everyone? Except right then, Robin had nothing to say. Well, Maxie had a lot to say, even more than usual, because while she normally saved her most scathing words for a select few, it seemed as though every single person in town had a little piece of Maxie's ire. She had managed to avoid telling most people what she thought of them, because most of them stayed out of her face. Robin had put herself right there, directly in her line of fire. Well, if that's where she wanted to be, Maxie would make sure she got the most out of it. It was the least that she could do.

"I blame this whole stinking town, you know that?" Maxie decided to forego the niceties of offering seats and drinks. What would Kate think of her manners? Considering she didn't know whether she was a Sonny sympathizer or not on any given day, Maxie didn't really care. "I mean, let's face it, the good people of Port Charles, aren't so good, are they?"

"Maxie…"

"I mean, really," she continued, "let's take a look at them. There are the people who don't care as long as Sonny never came to their part of town. And there's the cops. Sure, they say they tried to put him away, but maybe if they didn't haul him in for everything even when he shouldn't have been a suspect, more people would have taken charges against him so seriously."

"Maxie, Uncle Mac has always done his best."

"And you hated it, yeah I know, but don't worry, I'm coming to you. You're one of them, you know, one of the worst to blame. The Sonny Corinthos sympathizers, that's what you are, and even when it was obvious that he did something, or he was going to do something, you all ignored it, or you claimed his innocence. I warned all of you that he was going to do something to Spinelli one day," Maxie said. "You said I was exaggerating."

"I never thought… I mean, Sonny's always been such a—"

"Good person?" Maxie scoffed. "He kills people, Robin."

"Only if he—" Robin cut herself off abruptly, and Maxie almost laughed. Did she finally realize how she sounded? Or was she seeing that she was brainwashed? Here she was, standing in front of one of Sonny's victims, the one person who had seen Sonny's true self with her own eyes, and still, her gut reaction was to defend him. Robin's reaction was so much like Jason's whenever someone talked against Sonny that it would have been laughable if it wasn't so frightening.

Robin was supposed to be the strong one. She could handle anything, and she spoke her mind. Don't believe it? Just ask Patrick. Her husband would tell anyone in a second that when Robin had something to say, she would say it. If she believed something strongly, she wasn't going to back down. Robin was so staunchly on the side of good and right that she should have been against Sonny, but she'd been through so much with him that she was completely blind to the truth. She was proof that even the strongest of people could be taken in by a con.

"If he has to?" Maxie asked. "Is that what you were about to say? Is that why you just couldn't believe that he would have done it? Because Spinelli couldn't have done anything to him? Well, Spinelli could have, you know, and in a way, he did. He had done some stuff on the computer, and he found out all sorts of stuff about your precious Sonny. He wouldn't tell me what it was because he wanted…" Maxie paused as her voice caught in her throat. She swallowed hard, trying to push the words up, but she choked on them every time. He had wanted to keep her safe, is what he had said, but she wasn't safe. Even if Sonny didn't kill her, Maxie would never be safe again. She would always be afraid, and she would be alone, because when she got close to people, they died in horrible ways.

Maxie took a deep breath, then another. She closed her eyes, and they popped right back open. Sometimes, when her eyes were open, she would see them out the corner of her eye. Sometimes it would be Lulu, sometimes Spinelli, and when she turned to look at them, they weren't all the way gone. They weren't right there, close anymore, but they were off in the distance. They stood there like they had always been, Lulu in some garrish outfit that should never have been put to paper, let alone actually made, Spinelli with the strap of his bag across his chest, his head down and hand in his hair. They were normal. They were alive.

When she closed her eyes, though, they were always covered in blood. They were lying on the floor, their bodies contorted like they were in a macabre game of Twister. Their eyes were open, too. Lulu looked at Spinelli, but Spinelli looked at Maxie, and he was smiling. That was the worst part of it all, because the smile was always a smile of relief, like he was thinking, _You're alive, so it's okay._ It wasn't okay, it would never be okay. And it didn't matter if Maxie was actually sleeping or if her eyes had just closed while she tried to think or avoid looking at someone, she still saw that smile and it made her want to vomit, because damn it, Spinelli, it was not okay!

"I'm so sorry, Maxie." Robin took a few steps forward and Maxie leaped up from her seat. She wanted to be able to move in case Robin tried to touch her or, God forbid, hug her. "I know what I'm going to say is going to sound horrible, and it is horrible. I'm horrible."

Talk about instant reactions… Maxie almost told Robin that she wasn't horrible, and deep down, she didn't think of Robin that way, but she was mad, damn it, and she was fully within her rights to be mad. That's what she heard Laney telling Sam when she had called and asked for advice on how to handle the situation. She was within her rights and she was going to be mad as long as those rights were extended to her. Part of being mad was most definitely not comforting Robin.

"I went to see Sonny when he was arrested," Robin said. Maxie snorted. It figured she'd have gone to see him before coming to her own cousin. "I wanted him to tell me that it wasn't true, that he hadn't killed them."

"Let me guess," Maxie said, "he told you just that."

"Of course, he did, and I believed him. I always believe him. I just… Maxie, I saw the absolute best in him when Stone was dying, and then when Jason had his accident, and I was so young, and I needed people to be good. I needed him to be this guy that did good things, and then, when I was older, I needed it even more. I didn't want the years that shaped who I am to have been a lie."

There was so much snark waiting on Maxie's tongue, begging to be set free, but she held back. All she said was, "And?"

"And, it was a lie," Robin said with a sigh. Her head dropped for a second, and Maxie was glad that she was feeling bad. Slowly, Robin rose her head. Maxie still didn't look at her straight on, full in the eye, but she saw enough to catch the remorse. Maxie's head turned slightly to the left.

"I admit it," Robin said, "I was going to come here to talk you out of it, to tell you that you must have been wrong, that you were having post traumatic stress and you remembered it wrong."

"Thanks, Robin. That's exactly what I needed."

"I know it was wrong now, but…" She shook her head. "I ran into Sam downstairs, and she wouldn't let me come up. She told me you said had happened, and she told me that she believed you, that Jason believed you."

Well, Maxie guessed that made sense. If Jason believed that Sonny had done something wrong, then it must have been true. The only person more brainwashed by the guy than Robin was Jason Morgan.

"Why didn't you come back, then? Say you were sorry?"

"I don't know," Robin said. "My head was all messed up and I just… I didn't want to fight with Sam. I knew it would be a real fight, and lets face it, if it came down to actual physical fighting, I wouldn't have won. My words are my strength, my conviction, not my hands, and Sam would have fought hard if she thought I was going to hurt you."

Maxie didn't know what to say that. She knew that Sam cared about her, but that much? If she had fought Robin, Maxie probably would have written it off as some kind of power play, anyway, not as being in Maxie's defense. She didn't know what to say, so she said nothing.

"I ran back to the police station, and I begged Sonny to tell me the truth. I told him I would try to forgive him if he just told me the truth." Robin shook her head and let out a bitter laugh that reminded Maxie of her own so much that she thought she had to have learned it from her cousin. "He sat there and he lied to my face, and I could see that it was a lie. It's not like before, when he'd say he didn't do something and the truth of that was in his eyes. His eyes were so cold, his face so still. He didn't have the anger that he had been wrongfully accused. He didn't even beg me to believe him. He just said that he didn't do it, and I knew that he had."

"And then?"

"Then, I really couldn't come to you. I mean, what would I have said?"

"How about everything you're telling me right now? Oh, I'm sorry, you had to come to grips with everything. I watched my best friends get murdered by one of your best friends, I almost died at his hands, but oh, that's okay, because your whole life had been a lie. Well, I'm so very sorry that you let yourself believe the lie, Robin. I'm so sorry that your life has been destroyed."

"I don't know what to say, Maxie," she said. "I just… I'm so sorry, and I want to make it up to you. I should have been here for you, and I wasn't. I was selfish."

"Yes, you were."

"I was wrong."

"Right again."

"How can I make it up to you?"

"Honestly?" Maxie turned to the side and wrapped her arms around her midsection. "I don't know. I don't even know if you'll have to. I'm fickle, right? That's what everyone says, and maybe they're true. Maybe one day I'll wake up and I'll have forgiven you. Maybe I'll wake up and it won't even be like I've forgiven you. It'll just be normal, like I'd never lost my faith in you."

"Maxie…"

"But right now, I don't have that faith in you." Maxie turned back to her and this time, she did really look at her. She looked at Robin's black blouse, black skirt, black hose, black shoes. She was dressed for mourning, but at least it was fashionable mourning. Tears spilled from Robin's eyes, but at least she had listened to Maxie and stopped wearing that non-waterproof mascara. The whole thing would have just been melodramatic, to the point of comedic, if she'd had black streaks down her cheeks.

She was sorry, though. Maxie could see that clearly. Robin was sorry with everything she had in her, and if she hadn't just had to relive the whole thing in the courtroom, she probably would have forgiven her on the spot. She may have even made a joke about being certain of at least one person who wouldn't be called as a Corinthos character witness. But, there wasn't enough time passed since Maxie had sat on the witness stand and testified to what she saw, how she felt. She was too angry, so Robin would just have to wait.

Maxie let her arms drop to her sides and said, "If you're done, I'm tired. I think I want to take a nap, now."

"Maxie, please."

"If I'm going to forgive you, Robin, you need to let me do it my way. It sucks that you feel this way and everything, but right now, I can't care as much as I probably should. What's new, though? We always knew that I was selfish. I'm being selfish."

"I…" Robin closed her mouth and sighed. "I understand," she said. "But, please, Maxie, call me. Let me make it up to you, when you're ready."

"Yeah," she said, "I'll let you know."

Robin waited a few more beats, maybe thinking that Maxie would given in sooner than she thought. Maxie sat down on the sofa. She stretched out and buried her face into the back of the sofa. She listened to the silence, and then to the sound of Robin's heels clicking against the hard wood floor, and finally to the door opening and closing. And then she listened to the heavy footfalls that came down the stairs.

"Everything okay?" Jason asked her.

Maxie turned her face outward and said, "Just peachy. Maybe one day the two of you can commiserate over your broken trust and your misguided lives together. You should ask Sam, first though. She might not like it."

"I know you're hurt, Maxie, but—"

"You're damn right I'm hurt, and I'm going to stay that way. I don't know for how long but I do know that as long as I'm hurt, I'm going to be this way, because this is how I protect myself. If you don't like it, then you can ask me to leave, but again, you might want to check with Sam, first."

"I'm not going to kick you out, Maxie."

"Great. Then would you please just leave me alone? I already had to go through your initial defense of Sonny. I can't really deal with you going to Robin's defense, too. Just go somewhere and wallow in being wrong, and let me wallow in still being alive." Maxie swallowed hard because she felt the bubble coming, and she thought had had cleared it away, but as she said, "Please," it was still there, and instead of being just a question, it sounded like she was begging him. Maybe she was, but Maxie still hated it.

Maxie turned her face into the back of the sofa again. She listened to the silence, and then just like with Robin, she listened to the footfalls, these heavier than Robin's, but unlike before, there was no opening and closing of the door. Instead, there was just Jason going up the stairs, and then the faint ringing of his cell phone. Probably Sam, she thought, calling to report on the rest of the trial. And Maxie, again, couldn't bring herself to care. All she could do was fight the images that were plastered on the inside of her eyelids, because as afraid as she had become of sleeping, she was so very, very tired.


	8. Chapter 8

Maxie could vaguely feel Sam clutching her hand. As she looked down, she realized that she should have been more aware of the feeling. Maxie was holding on to Sam just as hard, so hard that both of their knuckles were ghostly. Maxie loosened her grip and Sam turned to look at her, a question in her eyes. Maxie looked down at their hands quickly, then back up. Sam must have understood because she released her grip on Maxie's hand.

Maxie stood up and folded her arms across her stomach. Her high heels clicked against the hardwood floor as she walked away from the sofa. She was wrinkling her best suit. Sam had suggested that she change clothes once she had made the decision to stay home. She probably should have listened to her.

Maxie turned right and headed toward the stairs. She still had time to change, and then she could—What? Go to sleep? She wasn't about to do that of her own free will any time soon. No, Maxie left sleep for when she was just too tired to stay awake. Maxie was emotionally tired, but she wasn't that sleepy, not quite yet.

"You could have gone, you know." Maxie turned at the stairs, still hugging herself. "You didn't have to stay here with me. I mean, Jason's probably gonna need you to alibi him or something after the verdict."

Sam's head tilted to the side, her black hair falling to drape her shoulder. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, come on," Maxie said, "we both know how this works. Sonny never goes down for anything."

"Maxie…" Sam paused as she pushed herself up to her feet. Her hands twisted in front of her, then fell to her sides. Maxie watched Sam swing her arms, twist her fingers, like she didn't know what to do with her hands. "I don't think—"

"Don't fool yourself, Sam. He's going to get away with this. He always gets away with everything. If it weren't for who he killed, I wouldn't even expect him to die, 'cause you know, everybody else dies, never Sonny."

"He's going to be punished this time, Maxie." Sam approached her slowly. Maxie looked down to Sam's hands. The palms were pushing out, not completely out like in surrender, but enough that Maxie felt like Sam was trying to keep her calm. It was the position they always had in the movies when someone was approaching an unstable person. Maxie was kind of offended because, hello! The only person in the town who even knew what was going on. Totally stable, that was Maxie Jones.

Except, deep in her gut, Maxie knew that she wasn't all that stable. At some point, someone was going to drag her off to a shrink because she really did need some psychiatric help. What she really needed was something that would stop her from dreaming, but they wouldn't agree with that. Maxie knew how these things went. Trauma really messed up a person, and Maxie sure as hell counted as a traumatized person.

"That's why I couldn't go, you know," Maxie told her. "I mean, I couldn't sit there and listen to them let him off. I couldn't have all of those people calling me a liar right to my face. I've had about enough of that, dontcha think?"

"No one's calling you a liar, Maxie."

"Oh, please! Jason stood there and called me one to my face, and ya know what, Sam? That's fine, because I have been a liar, for years. But, whatever, it doesn't matter. I don't have to sit there for that."

Maxie turned away from Sam and closed her eyes. She could picture it if she really wanted to do that. She could see the foreman standing up. She could hear the judge asking for the verdict, and every time, in that scenario, the foreman looked at Maxie while he read the verdict. His lips moved to the pattern of 'not guilty,' but the words that came out of his mouth were, 'stop lying.'

Maxie sighed and turned back around. "You know, it doesn't even matter if they don't call me a liar. Diane's going to be able to complain that he didn't get a fair trial or something because Port Charles is against him anyway, and ya know what? She's right. Everybody has been waiting for Sonny to go down for how long? Well, they'll just have to wait a little longer."

"You don't know that Maxie." Sam approached her again, her calm down hands raised a little higher this time. "They're going to find him guilty. I saw their faces when you testified. I saw their faces when the crime scene experts testified. The jury knows that he did it, Maxie, and the judge is going to send him away for the rest of his life."

Sam stopped walking in front of Maxie and put a hand out on her shoulder. Maxie looked down at Sam's hand. She really needed a manicure. Maybe, when this was all over, they could go out and get one together. That would be fun, right? Every girl needed a mani-pedi once in a while and it had been way too long since Maxie had one.

Yup, she was definitely insane. Now was not the time to talk about manicures and pedicures. Neither was it the time to think that the hem of Sam's black skirt was just a little bit long for the season. Fashion and appearance were all that held her together, though. They were the only things keeping her from going back there, from seeing the blood. Fashion and appearance were how Maxie stopped herself from seeing in the daytime the things she saw when she inevitably fell asleep. They were her safety net, because while she didn't understand how everyone had been so blinded by Sonny for all those years and she didn't understand why she was still alive, the worst of the three still breathing air, Maxie did understand hemlines and beauty.

Oh God, was she even going to have a job when this was over? Maxie had thought about it in passing, but it never seemed that important. Who cared if she had a job? Hell, she could probably guilt Jason into setting her up for the rest of her life. Not having to work could be fun for a while, but the truth was, Maxie did want to work. She wanted to end up the editor of a major magazine, maybe even have her own magazine one day. She wouldn't have any of that if Kate blackballed her from the industry.

Maxie looked up at Sam and she was filled with a renewed energy. Her moods changed so quickly these days. The old Maxie was fighting like crazy to get out and get back to normal, but the damaged Maxie kept her at bay. She didn't know who she was going to be from one moment to the next. The only constant was that, deep down, she didn't really have it in her to care which one came out because at least she was alive to be completely bonkers.

"What happens then, huh, Sam?"

"What do you mean?"

"Let's say I believe you," Maxie said. "Let's say Sonny goes to prison. What am I suppose to do then? Because, let me tell you, I don't do this kinda thing, ya know? I mean, look at what I was after Georgie died. Do I just go back to that, because I really do feel like raising a little hell."

"That won't help you, Maxie, trust me."

"Oh yeah? How do you know?"

"Because I've been there," Sam told her, dropping her head. Sam's hair cascaded into her face, and as she rose her head to look at Maxie again, Sam shoved her hair behind her ears. "I have done so many destructive things, Maxie, and all they do is cause you more pain in the end. You did it once. You know what that does to you. You know how you feel when it's over."

"Oh, it's okay, Sam, I don't do guilty, so I'm good."

"Now, I'm going to call you a liar."

Maxie sighed. "Okay, fine, so maybe I'll feel guilty eventually, but at least I"ll be alive to feel it which is more than I can say for Lulu and Spinelli."

"Maxie, don't do that. You're better than that."

"Am I, Sam? Because I don't really know anymore. I treated Spinelli like crap so often, and I didn't even realize I was doing it half the time, and the other half, I didn't care. Even when Lulu didn't dress like a fashion reject I told her I did just so I could feel superior."

"Maxie, come on. You know they loved you and you loved them. Yeah, you were harsh, but you know what? Lulu gave as good as she got, and Spinelli adored you."

"Spinelli let me walk all over him."

"Spinelli loved you more than life."

"Exactly!" Maxie's arms flew up in the air and dropped quickly to her sides. The heels of her hands hit her thighs. "That's just the point, Sam! He loved me and I didn't deserve it. He loved me more than he loved himself and that's just… That's not right."

"I know it hurts," Sam told her, "but you've gotta stop beating yourself up. Spinelli- Yes, he loved you more than anything, and he was okay with that. He wanted that. You didn't make him take that bullet for you."

"Yes, I did."

"How do you figure that?"

"Because I made him love me, when really, I should have just made him hate me." Maxie felt tears streaming down her cheeks. Thank God, for waterproof make-up. She was already having some kind of a breakdown. She didn't need to look like a model for a bad 80s power ballad, too. "Everybody says he's in a better place, and you know what? He is, because he's with Georgie. She's the one he should have been with all along. She's the one that was worthy of him."

"You were worthy of him, Maxie."

"How can you say that? Look what I put him through!"

"You loved him," Sam told her. "When you love someone that way you loved Spinelli… Don't say that you weren't worthy, Maxie, because if you're not worthy, then neither am I, and I've come too far to go back to thinking that way."

Maxie wanted to be worthy, because that would justify Spinelli dying for her. She wanted to believe it, but it was so hard, because Maxie had never been worthy, not of her parents, not of Georgie, not of anyone.

"What do I do now, Sam? What am I supposed to do?"

"You're supposed to live," she told her. "You go on. You go back to work."

"But, Kate…"

"Is an idiot if she doesn't see the light now. And if she doesn't, you know people. I'm sure Jax could get you something in the city. You're good enough."

Maxie snorted. Jax would do it just as a reward for finally getting rid of Sonny. She tried really hard for about ten seconds to be bitter about that, but she really couldn't. It was a feeling that Maxie understood, a motivation that she understood, so she could accept it.

"Leaving Port Charles would be good, I think," she said softly. "Bad things happen here, Sam." Her voice was barely above a whisper, like she was sharing a secret. And it almost was, wasn't it? Not necessarily a secret, because everybody knew. No, it was more a taboo. Just the sight of the harbor could send chills down anyone's spine, but no one talked about it. No one talked about the dark cloud that hung over the city.

"You could go away. Jason and I will help you, if that's what you want. Or you can stay here. But whatever you do, Maxie, you live, because that's what Spinelli meant for you to do. No matter what happens at that trial, you go on."

"And how do I do that with—" Maxie stopped, realizing what she was about to say. She knew that there was still a possibility that Sonny would be set free, and she knew what would happen with him walking the streets. He'd get her. Even though she was free, she had turned his best friend against him. She had turned his ex-wife against him. Maybe Michael would still believe in him, but the rest of his kids had the blinders off. He would get her for that.

That's not what stopped her, though. No, Maxie stopped because she knew the truth of it. Sonny wouldn't make it a full twenty four hours on the streets before Luke got him. Maxie knew that it would be Luke, too. Everyone else had too much of a conscience to do it. Okay, so Jason might not have had much of one, but he had Sam, and if he knew that Luke would do it, too, he would be able to spare Sam the heartache when the cops dragged him away. Luke wouldn't think about anyone else and he didn't have the little voice telling him that he shouldn't do it. Luke would kill him, and then Maxie would be free to live.

Maxie's mouth was dry. Her throat was dry. She ran her tongue around the inside of her mouth. She gathered enough saliva to get a decent gulp, then asked Sam in a raspy voice, "Do you really think Jax would help me?"

"I know he would." Sam came toward her, arms open, but the hug was stopped as the phone rang. Sam looked at Maxie, then at the phone, then back to Maxie. "Do you—"

"Just answer it."

Sam reached back to the table and picked up the phone. "Hello?" She looked at Maxie while she listened and there was nothing there. She couldn't tell if it was good news, bad news, or no news at all. Sam used to be a con woman, so yeah, she could handle her facial expressions, but that level of blank, Maxie figured she had to have learned from Jason.

"Okay," Sam said. "Thanks. I'll see you when you get home." Sam clicked off the phone and tossed it down onto the sofa. She looked at Maxie and said, "That was Jason."

"And?"

"Verdict is in."

"And? Come on, Sam, don't drag this out."

Sam took in a deep breath and sighed. "Guilty, Maxie." She brushed a shock of hair out of her face. "He's guilty. The guards took him away, and everybody's pretty sure he's going to get life in prison."

Maxie stared at her. Guilty was… It was… rare. Not Sonny being guilty, because he was guilty of a lot of things, but Sonny actually being officially guilty. He was really going to pay. And Luke was married to Tracy, and Quartermaines had influence with judges, and because of Lulu, he was really going to go to jail.

"Guilty," Maxie said softly.

Sam nodded. "Three counts of kidnapping. Two counts of first degree murder. One count of attempted murder. Those are mandatory life sentences, Maxie. He's going away forever."

"Forever."

"You did it, Maxie."

She looked up, confused. "What?"

"All the proof in the world couldn't have swayed a jury the way your testimony did. You talk about Jason or Luke or Dante getting vengeance on Sonny, but you're the one that did it, Maxie. You're the one that got justice for Spinelli and Lulu. If that doesn't make you worthy, doesn't make you see you're worthy, then I don't know what does."

"Worthy or not, Sam, they're still dead."

"And you're still alive." Sam finally got to give Maxie that hug. She wrapped her arms around her, and as much as Maxie hated hugs that she hadn't initiated, she couldn't stop her arms from wrapping around Sam or her head falling on Sam's shoulder. Sam stroked her hair and said, "You're alive, and whatever you do now, I'll help you."

Maxie held on to Sam, thinking how great of a mom she would have been. She had that whole nurturing and caring thing down, and she seemed to know just when the hug and comfort stuff would be accepted. Maxie really needed that hug.

Still holding on, Maxie asked, "Did you mean it? About Jax?"

"I'll call him right now, if you want."

"No." Maxie pushed herself back. She used the edges of her middle fingers to dab beneath her eyes. "Right now, could you take me somewhere?"

"Wherever you wanna go."

For the first time since the whole mess began, the smallest of smiles managed to touch Maxie's cheeks. "I wanna go tell Spinelli and Lulu the good news. Do you think that's a good idea?"

"I think it's a great idea."

"I do have great ideas." Maxie sniffed and tried to give more of a laugh. It didn't come, but now, Maxie really thought she just might get it back. Her concerns weren't all gone, and she still didn't know if she believed that she had the right to live when Spinelli and Lulu were gone, but somehow, knowing that Sonny was going to pay made her think that it might be okay if she did things again. She didn't know if she truly deserved her life, but she had it.

Might as well do something with it.


End file.
